Critque of Poetry on Pop My Mind March 17, 2017

Pop My Mind is a creative platform that encourages artists, aspiring and established, to produce a piece of work that is inspired by what they see, hear or read. Artists can create any form of art from paintings to writing to music. To learn more about how Pop My Mind works or to check out some of our current submissions, please click the link here.

One of Pop My Mind’s most unique features is that we showcase a wide variety of different art forms and medium. One form of art that appears on Pop My Mind is poetry which has has been one of the most frequently explored forms of art as well as creative writing. In this article we’ll have a look at some of the poems and creative writing pieces that have been submitted already!


To the birds Megan Owens (click here to go to the poem)

Megan’s work was inspired by Rebecca Freeman’s piece Woodland Tea (pictured above)

To the birds is a poem written by Megan Owens which looks at the way birds live and act in the garden environment. Megan has structured her poem to fit the form of a Shakespearean sonnet – minus the iambic pentameter! In this form we get a repeated pattern of alternate rhyme (ABAB) followed by the ending rhyming couplet. The use of rhyme in Megan’s poem creates a sense of speed and fluidity which is also helped by her use of enjambment, which effectively creates a feeling that the poem is telling a story which runs on from the previous line.

Megan has cleverly anthropomorphised the birds in her poem to create a relationship between them and the reader. Phrases such as “chatter” and “decorate” give the indication that these birds are living their lives similarly to humans, chatting between themselves and decorating their homes.


Silence – Ilan Yaniv (click here to go to the poem)

Ilan’s work was inspired by Pop My Mind’s prompt Water (pictured above)

We can also see the effectiveness is short poetry such as Ilan Yaniv’s Silence which was inspired by Pop My Mind’s prompt Water. One line poetry can be extremely effective as the reader is often left to create their own sense of meaning behind the words on the page. Ilan says that “I feel such peace when I swim under the waves. A silence, like nothing else, is available under the water.” Ilan has composed it purely from his senses but the piece can interpreted in many different ways by other readers, and it’s interactive capabilities make this a fascinating work.

It is interesting in how Ilan has placed the word ‘silence’ in the middle of the page. It can be seen that perhaps Ilan puts the silence he experiences underwater right at the centre of attention during the experience.


Atlas Mapping Roseanne Ganley (click here to go to the text)

Defience – Leslie Wright (above left)  Remember Paris – Isacc Dinnery (above right)

Looking at one of our creative writing pieces now, Roseanne Ganley’s piece Atlas Mapping is an extremely powerful piece that was created in the wake of the Paris terror attacks in 2015. Roseanne’s piece tells of “the violent relationship between victim and perpetrator” in which she has incorporated many different devices to create an effective and bleak image.

One of the techniques that Roseanne uses is defamiliarisation, which creates a contrast between the real and the impossible, an example being when she writes that the narrator’s “hand covered in blood”. It is effective because we do not naturally associate hands with blood so the indication that the reader is given is that the narrator has had something to do with the attacks in Paris, but that image is juxtaposed by the fact that they are crying and hurting at the horrors happening.

Roseanne’s free-form writing allows her to create a story but also paint an image too. We can see how as the story progresses, there is a break up in structure and length, by the end we are seeing one line paragraphs. Atlas Mapping really does capture the fear but also the closeness of the victims to the attackers. The extended metaphor that Roseanne uses, the atlas being the body, emphasises this because all that separates humans in the different places from where we’re born.

Danse Macabre: Reprise – Tamzyn Jackson (click here to go to the poem)

Tamzyn’s piece was inspired by Adrian Manning’s Arboretum (left above) and Camille Saint Sean’s Danse Macabre

Lastly we’ll look at Tamzyn Jackson’s Danse Macabre: Reprise a poem inspired by Adrian Manning’s piece Arboretum whilst also being inspired by the song Danse Macabre by Camille Saint Saens which tells the story of ‘Death’ calling forth the dead to dance on Halloween from midnight until dawn when they return to their graves until the following year.

In Tamzyn’s poem, she reprises the story by including a living human who comes across the dancing dead. The use of first person, present tense narration creates a sense of urgency and quickness which is effective as the reader becomes quickly drawn into the setting and we really get a feeling that we only have a short amount of time.

The use of rhyming couplets also help create a fluidity in her text and adds rhythm which fits in well with the context of the dance of the dead. Tamzyn has used defamiliarisation in the poem “though dead we appear, / Are quite alive” to create an eerie feel and atmosphere; it’s really effective!

Feel inspired by the works above? Join Pop My Mind today and start creating! For full information about joining the platform and getting inspired please click the link here.

Getting popping!


Written by Jack Bailey

Featured image is Charn 001 created by Yasmin Sartin